And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
