just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
