Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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