Swine flu. Run for my life!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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