Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
