Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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