I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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