I wanna bring you to show and tell
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
