i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
