I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
We're like a lot better than the average bears
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
