We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
