mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
