found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
