you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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