check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
