I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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