She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
