He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
