Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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