sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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