it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
then he tried to convert me to islam
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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