I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You dont lie about slip and slides
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
