i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
