If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
