He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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