so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
