It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
