I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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