she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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