maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
