I puked a lego.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Ladies don't puke and tell
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize