guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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