In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
