what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
