i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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