I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize