i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
