I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
