Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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