you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
