Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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