Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
her vagine was all disorganized.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
