yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
