You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
