plz talk dirty to me
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
