We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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