If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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