these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
