I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
