I CAN MOONWALK!
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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