you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
