I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
