I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
