What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
