Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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