What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
