So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
