yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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