ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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