I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
