So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
MIDGETS
????
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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