Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize