hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
