There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
