and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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