a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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