I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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