I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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