He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
