ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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