sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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